Super Sweet Sixteen- Revisited

November 14, Redemption Day- what did that look like for you?  Let me tell you what happened in my world. 

I don’t feel like I did anything “earth shattering”, just simple expressions of kindness and love.  It seemed to be the point though—not to stress over what I should do and simply respond to what was stirring in my heart.  I sent a few emails/messages, dropped a card in the mail, and waited in anticipation for the next “assignment”.  The morning was great, the afternoon was good but the evening was a challenge.

Dan had a class Thursday evening, so I was on my own with the kids.  It was a normal night, on a day when I felt anything but normal.   I found myself challenged on all levels and burdened under the weight of raw emotion.  I didn’t quite know where it came from but I did NOT have time to deal with it.  I wanted the night to be fun for the kids and feel like the day meant something to them too.  As the hours passed I became less sure that I was making any kind of difference.  I’m my own worst critic.

I tucked the kids in bed, started water to fill my tub and pulled a load of laundry from the dryer.  A hot bath was probably just the thing I needed—a bit of time to process the day’s events.  What should’ve been a quick folding job turned into another adventure as I discovered a tube of Chapstick had been washed and dried into the clothing.  More work, this wasn’t what I had in mind.  Soaking in the washer overnight would hopefully do the trick.

Twenty minutes later I sank down into the hot water and thought about the day—the places of beauty and the ones that challenged me.  In the midst of this though, I began to realize that there was another side to this story.  I started to tally up all the amazing things God had done for me, the ways he kissed my day.

1. A random call from a friend inviting our family to their cabin for the weekend.
2. Lunch with another friend who hadn’t read my blog post on Redemption Day, but was sharing from her heart in a way that matched everything in mine.  It was divine encouragement.
3. A surprise text that took my breath away with heart-felt kindness.
4. Flowers from a fourth friend, her way of celebrating Elise’s 16^th birthday.
5. $6.00 clearance shirts at the Gap Outlet, the perfect size for one of my children.
6. Prayers from my boys at bedtime, asking if they could pray for others who were facing their own place of difficulty.

All of these things meant something wonderful and remarkable to me.  I can honestly say that perfection is over-rated; it was ok that the day wasn’t perfect, it was about redemption anyway.  Kisses from heaven—this day spoke of the God who knows my heart, hears my cry and always answers.  On a day I intended to be about others, God surprised me and showed me that instead, it was all about me.

 

Super Sweet Sixteen

I love to celebrate—people, seasons, milestones, effort, moments.  Everything deserves a celebration!  November 14^th holds a special opportunity for this exact kind of event.   It happens to be my daughter’s 16^th birthday (Elise Victoria).  Although this Sweet Sixteen is a bit different than I could’ve ever imagined, I feel like it’s also going to exceed every expectation. 

I think I will forever call 11/14 Redemption Day. 

Elise’s personal celebration will take place in heaven, but my heart is already having a party of it’s own.  I’ve been asking God for some inspiration this year.  I want the day to be different, better, than her other birthdays.  After all, this is a milestone year.  Tonight I finally felt God breathe upon me.

Here’s what I got:

November 14th is all about redemption, allowing God to transform a physical loss into supernatural blessing.  My goal: do as much good as humanly possible in the span of 24 hours.  I have some specific ideas on what this might looks like—cards I’ve been meaning to write, a few books to send, etc.  I think I know how the day will begin, but after that it’s anyone’s guess.  I’m having lunch with a friend and taking Abigail to Starbucks so we can “share the joy”.  I have a loose framework, and I can’t wait to see the way God fills it in. 

Anyone want to join me?  Are you up for a challenge?  Let’s celebrate the day together doing as much good as possible. Let’s impact the heart of another with the personal love of Jesus.  This doesn’t have to feel big or expensive to you, but I guarantee it will bless the recipient.  A cup of cold water to a weary traveler—or maybe it’s a cup of coffee to a tired mom (a mom of babies in heaven and/or on earth).  I don’t know what God’s going to speak to you, but I know he will. 

Let’s meet back here and talk about what happened on Friday.  I can’t wait to see the way God encourages our hearts as we encourage someone else.  Feel free to post a comment to tell me what happened as you took part in Redemption Day. 

Death Defying Dreamer

A year ago my life was distinctly different.  I had a dad.  His cancer was back, he was entrenched in the fight, but he was here and I was thankful.  In the ebb and flow of life I missed the memo that grief would nail me as the seasons changed, but it has come.  Sorrow floods my heart and my mind wanders down the road I’ve walked these past 10 months without him.  I try not to think about the way he will be missed at our Thanksgiving table, the gifts I won’t be buying for him this year, and the multifaceted way it touches us all- my mom, my siblings, my husband, my kids.  We all feel the loss and it is immense.  I try not to think about it, but the sorrow lingers.

My life tells a story of broken dreams and love that redeems them all.  I do not mourn as one without hope.  I know, that even now, God is redeeming the pain I feel and bring beauty from it.  He loves me too much to leave me in this broken place.  He will move me through it, gently taking my hand, carrying me if need be, and walking with me until we are on the other side.  In the midst of my ache, he comforts me.

Let me tell you what God did last week~

Monday morning I received a glorious invitation- a friend asked me to accompany her to the first ultrasound of her 15-week pregnancy.  I was elated. I haven’t seen a baby in the womb since I saw the pictures of my youngest (now 8 years old).  I love the mystery and wonder of life, and eagerly counted down the hours, thankful that the appointment was later that afternoon.  All babies are special, but this is an extra special baby.  My friend and her husband have 2 children on earth and 6 in heaven.  Her journey has been one of great sorrow, but amazing hope and steadfast faith.  God has woven our hearts like sisters, not just friends.

As we sat in the dimly lit room, eyes fixated on the screen, smiles filled our faces.  This baby is perfect in everyway.  We heard the heart beat, saw the profile and laughed as he/she wiggled and waved.

This appointment was one of the hi-lights of my week.  I’ve soaked in the shared joy of this precious life and thought a lot about broken dreams.  My friend has persevered through devastating loss over and over again.  Her heart has continued to believe the gentle whispers of Jesus and the promise of life over her family.  She walks toward life even when circumstances looked like death.  She refused to give up and now she is entering into the beauty of this dream and inching closer to the day when she will hold this perfect one in her arms.

She is a death-defying dreamer.

I’ve felt God unfolding this phrase in my heart; encouraging me as I move through this holiday season filled with a mix of emotions.  I want to be a death-defying dreamer too.  God has spoken promises over my life and I long to hold them.

We all have dreams that seem to die before their time, places where we’ve reached for something that never did find it’s way into our grasp.  In those moments it’s hard to keep reaching, especially when disappointment and discouragement come more frequently than fulfilled longings.  I speak to my soul—Don’t give up, don’t stop dreaming, keep pushing forward, keep reaching.  Don’t loose heart.

What is waiting on the other side of those dreams is breath taking and I want to find it.  I inhale deeply, lift my head and align my vision with the one who continues to light the fire of inspiration inside me.

Finding the Forgotten Dreamer

Those the Lord has rescued will return. 
 They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. 
Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.  “I, even I, am he who comforts you.”  Isaiah 51:11-12

For the past 7 years I’ve spent much time immersed in the pages of Isaiah.  The words capture the essence of what I feel—joy, sorrow, hope, struggle, promise and breakthrough.  I know the deep ache caused by the circumstances and heartbreak of life.  I also know the overwhelming comfort found in the presence of Christ, the tenderness of God, and the availability of Holy Spirit.  This week I’ve felt resurgence in the pain of loss, specifically the loss of my dad 10 months ago.  I miss him for a million reasons.  Most of all, I miss his tender presence in my life.  I’ve cried out to the One who heals me, and I’ve felt his comfort abound.  God whispers a promise of life to come that inspires joy and diminishes sorrow’s ache.

Pain and death give way to dreams.  It is a force capable of breaking me free from the weight of this sadness, taking me from this moment and launching me towards the beautiful plans God set in place since the day he created the world.  He has a destiny in mind for me, but sometimes I forget that I’m a dreamer.  Instead of partnering with God, I get lost in the motion of the day’s assignments and my feelings.  Within that place I must remember to return to the embrace of my Father.  He has already rescued me, but I must return my heart to him.

I am comforted as my heavenly Father bends low to this earth and envelops me.  He reminds me that through pain and sorrow, joy emerges.  I don’t know how he does this.  The process is consistently unique.  I’ve not discovered a predictable method.  All I can say is that Isaiah’s words ring true.  God rescues me; everlasting joy adorns my head and fills me from within until it over takes everything that opposes its release.  He comforts me.

Today, in the midst of His comfort, I feel a growing excitement about the days ahead.  There is LIFE I haven’t lived and there are dreams that still need birthed.  Undiscovered beauty lays in wait for me and I am remembering to look for it.

What are you feeling today?  Do you need comfort?  Maybe you’re desperate for the inspiration of new dreams?  God’s arms are always open.  He longs to fill you with joy and gladness.  It’s a new day; it’s time for sorrow and sighing to flee away.  He is the only one who can truly comfort you, redeem your life and restore your joy.  Trust him, believe in his deep love for you and place your hope in his hands.  Hope will not disappoint you.  His face is always turned toward yours—lift your eyes and feel his love.  Find the forgotten dreamer and set them free!